Tuesday 21 June 2011
Gabriele Susanne Kerner
and also my biggest inspiration shes 51 and looks younger than me I think shes amazing she has a unique voice that is so soft and versatile she sang 99 luft ballons an 80's pop song and also strobo pop with die artzen which is a more up to date techno/dance track
I don't care what she sings I love her
This woman!
she just glows with confidence and attitude and I love her for that she is so glamorous and talented her lyrics often strange hold a deeper meaning to them one that is personal to her and her struggle to get to where she is now
and after the struggle she had I think she deserves to be as weird as she wants :D
Anorexia...why?
well I don't know why my grandmother always used to call me chubba or fatty as a term of endearment I just used to take it as that it never bothered me until I started secondary school I was known as the pregnant boy I hated my life school was miserable and my step mother always served up big meals not wanting to hurt her feelings I always at every bit.
The thought of starving my self was never far from my mind there was one day I had sport after lunch and we were running I fell and twisted my ankle and some of the boys hsouted earthquake. I just sat on the grass quietly watching my brother yell at them I would not let them see me cry I refused even though my eyes where burning and the hurt was ripping me apart inside
Thomausz came and spoke to me after wards asking how I was I said I was fine its the biggest lie I've ever told
luckily it was the last lesson so I just changed and went home I didnt wait for thom I just left I got home I got changed I plugged my headphones in to my stereo I blared nena out and just broke I cried and cried for what felt like hours then I cut... I cut my wrist I bled thom walked in he saw me sitting there crying and covered in blood he cleaned me up and spoke to me I told him I was just upset about earlier and he said not to listen I gave him a fake smile he seemed happy.
At dinner a big plate of fish fingers and chips was put in front of me I ate a few chips and half a fish finger then claimed to be ill a bad stomach that was it that was my downfall
after that my stomach burned with hunger i was always in and out of hospital and doctors offices because my stepmother thought there was something wrong with me she didnt know there actually was I denyed the whole thing.
I was about 17 after a night out I got home I thought every one was asleep and i went in to the bathroom to sort my self out I was going to shower I stripped down to my boxers and caught site of my self in the full length mirror I was fat and flabby and repulsive I hated my self I pinched punched and slapped my tubby frame I took a closer look at my face my crooked teeth my weird shapped eyes my big nose I couldnt take any more I just cried I let everything out i sank to the floor
then I heard a knock at the door then a voice a familiar voice thoms voice he was calling me asking if i was okay I took a deep breath in and said yes I'm fine he knew I wasnt he begged me to let him in I couldnt but I did and the sheer horror on his face when he saw me he described me as skeletal and skin over bone he said he ouldnt bare to see me like it we spent hours talking about it and he told me he knew something was wrong.
The next day he took me to the doctors and I got help its been a long slog I'm still not entirely recovered but I'm still getting better I'm not going to tell you my weight but I'm a lot healthier than I was
The thought of starving my self was never far from my mind there was one day I had sport after lunch and we were running I fell and twisted my ankle and some of the boys hsouted earthquake. I just sat on the grass quietly watching my brother yell at them I would not let them see me cry I refused even though my eyes where burning and the hurt was ripping me apart inside
Thomausz came and spoke to me after wards asking how I was I said I was fine its the biggest lie I've ever told
luckily it was the last lesson so I just changed and went home I didnt wait for thom I just left I got home I got changed I plugged my headphones in to my stereo I blared nena out and just broke I cried and cried for what felt like hours then I cut... I cut my wrist I bled thom walked in he saw me sitting there crying and covered in blood he cleaned me up and spoke to me I told him I was just upset about earlier and he said not to listen I gave him a fake smile he seemed happy.
At dinner a big plate of fish fingers and chips was put in front of me I ate a few chips and half a fish finger then claimed to be ill a bad stomach that was it that was my downfall
after that my stomach burned with hunger i was always in and out of hospital and doctors offices because my stepmother thought there was something wrong with me she didnt know there actually was I denyed the whole thing.
I was about 17 after a night out I got home I thought every one was asleep and i went in to the bathroom to sort my self out I was going to shower I stripped down to my boxers and caught site of my self in the full length mirror I was fat and flabby and repulsive I hated my self I pinched punched and slapped my tubby frame I took a closer look at my face my crooked teeth my weird shapped eyes my big nose I couldnt take any more I just cried I let everything out i sank to the floor
then I heard a knock at the door then a voice a familiar voice thoms voice he was calling me asking if i was okay I took a deep breath in and said yes I'm fine he knew I wasnt he begged me to let him in I couldnt but I did and the sheer horror on his face when he saw me he described me as skeletal and skin over bone he said he ouldnt bare to see me like it we spent hours talking about it and he told me he knew something was wrong.
The next day he took me to the doctors and I got help its been a long slog I'm still not entirely recovered but I'm still getting better I'm not going to tell you my weight but I'm a lot healthier than I was
So this is me
I'm a nineteen year old bisexual dance student.
I am currently suffering from anorexia
I love to sing
I enjoy studying make up styles and then practicing them
I have a twin brother hes a douche but I love him
I love many different styles of music such as nena, avenged sevenfold, metallica and tokio hotel
I love outlandish fashion like Dsquared2
so thats me :)
I am currently suffering from anorexia
I love to sing
I enjoy studying make up styles and then practicing them
I have a twin brother hes a douche but I love him
I love many different styles of music such as nena, avenged sevenfold, metallica and tokio hotel
I love outlandish fashion like Dsquared2
so thats me :)
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